COMPARISONS - IF I HAD ONLY

A moment ago, where I am happily here in Salt Lake City, Utah, my hostess handed me a Thanksgiving Zen Story. The timing was perfect for I had begun the above titled blog while still in Burlington, Vermont. I will not write the entire story since it is not important in this context. What is important is the message Zen Master Sono taught her students (rich-poor, sick-healthy, in distress or satisfied) to adopt an affirmation to be said many times a day, under all conditions. The affirmation was, Thank you for everything. I have no complaint whatsoever."

That's one big mouthful, and from the story apparently many a student was disappointed and went away not at all pleased. Those who adopted her mantra, or affirmation, practicing it all through their day, found peace and healing.

Once more, I say that's one big mouthful, particularly during this Season of let's be Jolly and Peace on Earth. Jolly? with financial disaster looming everywhere one looks , and war or conflict a daily offering in newspapers, radio, television, Face Book, ipod, or whatever the names of these new (to old-fashioned, me remembering when the telephone and radio had just come into existence!) inventions are!

Repeating that affirming mantra coincides with my thoughts about making comparisons or constantly iterating if I had only. The former is positive, the latter negative. I am certain no one, no! one! Not Billionaire Buffet, not super-star Cruise, not universally adored Winfrey! They would be the first to admit that there are times when they complained or were equally guilty of saying an "if I had only!".

There is a cliche: "Were we each to throw our troubles into one enormous pot then given the opportunity to select others that appear less loathsome we would end up with our own." Like many cliches, this on's true. Fame, fortune, power, stardom, all are accompanied by pain, suffering and up-to-the-elbows hard work! I know this from reading (a passion of mine) biographies or autobiographies. I know it from having -ever so luckily-contented friends -and family.

Nothing came easily to any of them yet they all are living successful ,on their terms, lives. Of course the word success has different meanings for different people. It need not include national or international acclaim. I have known such scintillating stars and heard their complaints about the painful price accompanying fame, have head them negatively comparing, muttering " if I had onlie" to themselves. They may not have repeated Zen Master Sono's mantra but certainly told themselves something akin to it. (As for my family, I'm going to ask them one day).

Many of these miracle mortals were born with good genes, but then again, think of those we have read about who were born with disastrous physical drawbacks yet with grit and guts attained heights far outdistancing healthier compatriots.

I'm not sure my writing and your reading this helps you or me personally. I woke up this morning in a lot of pain that took my medications longer than usual to work. I lay in bed all grumbling comparisons, and "if I had only-ing" until tears came to my eyes. It's great to read about these individuals who are able to practice what I'm so smugly here preaching . Yet again, as I type these words I know I will begin to practice Thank you for everything. I have no complaint whatsoever. What have we got to lose! Remember the play Peter Pan? Remember Mary Martin (at least the version I saw) flying about the room urging "happier thoughts, Michael" so he too could fly?

If we go in for "happier thoughts" we will not figuratively fly but we will fly in our spirits. It is a known medical fact that when we smile whether feeling good or not, the mere physical fact of moving our lips into smile lines good feelings literally trigger something in our brains that brings happy feelings. The same with laughter. The act of laughing in and of itself creates all manner of good feelings. One has no time for complaining or if I had Only-ing. Try it. You may feel silly, but it works.

After ninety years of living I know whereof I speak. And just the fact that despite my having awoken feeling more pain than usual despite the meds, despite my going upstairs to breakfast and seeing how beautiful is the home of my hosts compared to mine, I took the trouble to make myself smile, went to the mirror and faked a laugh, bingo!!! it worked. I felt considerably improved. Then, before beginning this blog I silently said Thank you for everything. I have no complaint whatsoever."

Guess what!